Me and Ben are celebrating our two years anniversary at this Christmas so I decided to collect some important (in our opinion) ingredients to love that work for us. May you think it’s not too long to be together, but let me tell you our story in short.
We were in a long distance relationship since we started dating, I was in Hungary, doing university, Ben was working in Manchester after he finished uni. Both of us are from the same city in Hungary so hard to imagine we never met before. We knew a little something about each other but not too much. After we liked some of each other’s pictures on Instagram, in 2016 November he sent me a dm on Instagram: ‘How are you?’… That year in Christmas he visited his family and me in Hungary and after our first date and the first time to see each other in real life, not only on skype, we fell in love and were in a long distance relationship half year long. Next year I finished university and we decided to move together in London. 🙂
When I started to write some notes to this blog post, I asked Ben what he thinks about it and basically, he told me the same what I think is important in a relationship.
Love – Of course, it’s the main ingredient but will we feel the same love forever? I don’t know. I believe it’s strong enough to stay together in hard times and solve problems together. If I wake up and see him, it makes me smile and I always feel lucky to start the day like this. I know you feel it when it’s true love.
Common interest – May you have some passion that the other not interested, (stock market? no thank you!) but for sure the key you need to have some common interests like old movies, hiking or the love of cooking. So you can make many things and memories together.
Help to each other – This is every little thing like bring a cup of tea when the other is sick, share the housework, help to write others CV, save others from embarrassing situations or help each other to grow in life and career.
Believe in the same values – I think to stay together forever, you definitely need to have the same values in life. If you are in the same opinion about money, marriage, friendships, health, and family etc., it will be easier to solve hard situations in the future.
Plan future together – If you are in your twenties, may you already have a life plan but if you don’t have it’s absolutely all right. (Wellcome to the club!) Apart from that, it is good to talk about the future and make some short and long-term plans in life, especially if you are in a relationship so your life defines the others. Talk about career, where do you want to live or when would you like to have kids. Or just make plans for the next weekend.
Learn from each other – It is something that will add a little more to the relationship and you can look up to each other. It is very important to educate yourself and learn new skills. Training your brain is so useful for you but your other half will be surprised by how clever you are and how much you know.
Endless trust/ Communication – I don’t understand couples who spy on each other. I just can’t live like that, it is too much stress for me. I believe in the power of communication. If you are in a relationship nothing can be ashamed to say and talk about it. You need to have endless trust in each other but don’t be naive. If you can’t trust in your love, better to talk about it why.
Acceptance of each other – No one is perfect. Love each other with all the mistakes you have. I know he is leaving his clothes everywhere but he loves you even you are on your period.
Feeling perfect next to the other one – This is something that I never felt before until now. I know he loves me and thinks I am beautiful when I am sick, I wake up, not wearing makeup and I am in my pajamas all day. Not only because I see in his eyes, but he never forgets to tell me these things.
Stay independent – I think it is very important to stay yourself and don’t forget about your own habits, friends, hobbies etc. When you are in love you’d like to do everything together but believe me sometimes it’s nice to have some time only with yourself and your thoughts.
(These things are working for us for two years now but it doesn’t mean it will work for you. Every relationship is different, but may you find some common things. 🙂 )
London – Ibiza – Barcelona – Los Angeles